irish donkey joke

He says, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. The old men look at each other and shake their heads. If you enjoy these, you will love the others here. About five minutes! And that a lady sued McDonalds for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered? But given the amount of money involved, if you dont mind, I would like to come back at 10 clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.. She nodded, and they got up to dance. O'Brien?" Did you have a favourite from this list? Whats so special about him? asks Mary. The leader donkey got shot and killed. Ive heard you Irish As was walking up the pathway Sylvester noticed that a donkey, which was lying on the ground, was not shod. I stir it in with my left hand, replied the first lad. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the company with his axe and knocked on the Foremans door. Top of the morning to you Sister, says Paddy; being respectful to nuns was something Paddys mammy had beaten into him at an early age. What are you doing working here so late at night? Joseph called. Template with funny dancing people in. But today the lad who plants the trees phoned in sick.'. Five New & Hilarious Irish Jokes, Laughter Guaranteed. There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, Cuckoo is the correct answer! great tip for the three-thirty and if you just give me the speeding ticket I Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. When do donkeys have six legs? I am not, the neighbour replied, Theyre both for me., An English lawyer was sat with his Irish client. How in Heavens name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesnt build its own nest?. It was introduced to different parts of the UK including England , Scotland and Wales . I said, what instructions, Paddy? his advice and was well pleased with the result. Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. How on earth can the news get any worse. In a follow-up feature to his Five Hilarious Jokes which we featured last January, Ger Leddin has another look at another few which we hope you enjoy. Paddy walks into a bar and asks for ten shots of the establishments finest single malt scotch. Inside the bag was the following note This puzzle has 500 p. He went to the dance and stood around, trying to build up his courage. Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. A donkey! Who told you that? asked Marty.. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. and got so high that we forgot to wear a condom. . What do you get when a donkey eats a porcupine? happend to your head? Asks the barman, referring to the fact that both The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. With his list, he reached for the most enormous cucumber in the shop when this tall sexy looking blonde also went to grab it. L'Chaim. Have you looked for the door? Paddy Irishman replies Well, theres one door that leads to the bathroom. Right in the middle of the cemetery, they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Look, David. Drink beer and sit in front of that TV? What are dose? Oh, all right. the Englishman says sullenly. Read our Sponsorship & Advertising Policy. They danced until the cafe closed, and the band was packing up. A winegl-a** is a donkey with drinking problems. He packed his bag that night and drove to, Mick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken. the car. (from UNILAD) Mattia M. 3.44K subscribers Subscribe 16K Share 2.5M views 4 years ago Scottish Grandma can't stop laughing while reading baby book!. Furious and confused, he went to see his grandmother and said, Gran tis my 18th birthday. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. What do you get when you cross a donkey and a motorbike? He uses the double velvet toilet role, has an extra shower scrub, and ensures he isnt sitting on any dodgy surfaces. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Do yus think I shud? Yeah, replies the expert. "Any idea why?" The doctor asks. The man replies, Im Paddy OToole of no fixed abode.. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents. "How's the stutter?", asks the doctor. Debra! I run a meditation and yoga studio for angry donkeys. If you have a long or short Irish joke youd like to share, please feel free to pop it in below. An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money. Youre nothing but a diabolical, desperate, mangled midden, and furthermore The man sighs and says, Its started . Rick-O-Shea. Did you hear about the hobo who thought he was a donkey. The travel agent then whacks him over the head and throws him into the river. The leprechaun runs down the bar and gives the Englishman a And to help encourage the fun, check out this selection of hilarious family-friendly donkey jokes that will have children and parents alike hee-hawing with laughter! He hears a priest come in. Mike Reid - The Donkey Joke. Paddy and Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night. Eoin English. The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman. He climbed out 4 times to take a piss.. Once he eventually caught up to her, he asked why the hell she ran away like that. The Wonky Donkey - Scottish laughing Grandma! This Irish joke would be best told in the pub over pints of the "black stuff" (aka Guinness); it merely highlights the Irish people's love for the local stout. After Mick handed her the bag, Mary said, My Grandpa will settle the bill., The brewmasters of 3 major beer companies decide to step away from a beer festival and go to a local pub, The first was from Mexico. raspberry again, SPLBLBLBLBT! Youve got me, she giggled, Do you fancy coming back to mine and watching? No thanks, said Paddy, Ive got better things to do with my time than be standing around watching a woman make sandwiches., An Irish man went to confession in St. Patricks Catholic Church Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked. Old man Murphy and old man Sean were contemplating life when Murphy asked, If you had to get one or the other, would you instead get Parkinsons or Alzheimers? Donkeys have starring roles in two of the most celebrated films released this year: British-Irish director Martin McDonagh's The Banshees of Inisherin and Polish director Jerzy Skolimowski's EO,which premiered at Cannes and took home the jury prize. - Irish donkey. For the past 30 days,I have been sharing an Irish joke every day on my Facebook page. A lad from Clare went to his local doctor with cramps from constipation. My friends are such fools! the old man grumbled. Im gonna pretend Ive gone mad! He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb! Murphy watches in amazement. Love Irish jokes. F*ck this, shouted Anto as he ran out of the room. And then he saw a woman standing alone in the corner. Heres what you do said the doctor, stand about 40 feet away from her and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. Go home, Dad, youre pissed!, A man is walking down the street in Dublin when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says cruises on Liffey River $100. the man asks. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. some short cheesy one-liner Irish jokes? Learn more. Totally exasperated by now, the tourist asks, Parla Italiano? The men once again look at each other and then shake their heads in puzzlement. When he reaches the bridge marking the border, the tax collectors search his bags to calculate what duty he must pay on his exports. Just give me a chance to show you what I can do, said the Irishman. Whether you want to try a craft or stay active, why not rediscover the joy of lazy afternoons together. The next time the train goes through a tunnel, Ill make another kissing noise and slap that English fecker again.. An Irish farmer was walking along the boundary between his and his neighbours fields when he spotted his neighbour carrying 2 sheep in his arms. Mary, for Christs sake can ye be telling me whats for dinner ? Still nothing and again at 10 feet still nothing. What has six legs, four eyes, two heads, and a tail? Im no ejit to take a chance on losing a bet, so off I went to the pub down the road and downed ten pints just to make sure I could do it. He arrived back up the stairs ten minutes later. Those on foot would cross the street. Soon after that, Another Irish man entered the confessional. Mar 28, 2013 - Oh! The foreman shouts: Paddy, go home. Sure is, Patrick. But not a bit of a response did he get from the nun who was now sobbing quietly away to herself. When you buy four drinks, he'll buy the fifth drink.". The English man flicks on his lighter and says: The next thing, Paddy steps up to the door and pulls a bra out of his jacket pocket. Declan extolled the pleasures of his smooth Irish whisky, while Mick reported that the turkey was the most delicious he had ever tasted. The next morning at exactly 10 oclock, the elderly woman arrived at the presidents office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $10,000 bet made the day before that the presidents testicles were square. !, No she replied. You he missed his chance of winning a few extra and well-needed bob. Fr. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of wine for her. A donkey with built-in GPS is referred to as a Comp-a**. All I had in me hand was his wifes left boob and while its Ive had sex with Fanny Green twice a week for the past two months .., This time, the priest questioned, Who IS this Fanny Green .. ?, A new woman in the neighbourhood, father, he replied. Was I definitely meant to shove them up my arse?'. The policeman says, "Why don't you just take it to the petting farm?" Theyre for resting my balls on when Im driving, says Tiger. 1. But Paddy was out of luck. Boy, that leprechaun sure is an ugly little bastard! he says. I HATE YOU! In the small village of Liscarroll, the young boy helped his family run a sanctuary for abandoned and abused donkeys. document.getElementById("ak_js_1").setAttribute("value",(new Date()).getTime()); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Join here. motorway toward the Curragh he even reckoned he had a few minutes to spare. Shipping from Europe / Shipping from the USA An Irish man took his old donkey to the beach to try and make a bit of money. But as luck would have it the Hey, what is that thing, anyway? #2. And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true? Paddy says to Mick, "If you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both". And the Irishman was thinking, This is feckin great, to be sure. Ger Leddin is a journalist from Limerick Ireland. But, where is Mr. And weve got the donkey jokes and puns to prove it. I stir it in with my right, replied the second. When the interview was over, the interviewer told him that all applicants had to complete a test. She yells at him, Is that all youre going to do tonight? He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language, so after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. Fair play 'Fair play' is an Irish expression used to congratulate someone. I havent got a clue. said Mick, So Ill use the last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin Posted in Dirty Jokes. Get interactive with your audience with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys. Get your weekly dose of Irish straight to your inbox every Friday. Whoops, sorry the joke already got stolen and euthanized by PETA. The dragon tells them, that he is going to kill everyone unless they manage to give him a moment of pure joy in his life. They didnt do it last year.. The Englishman mops himself off and says to the Irishman, Donkey in a Bar Joke Back to: Dirty Jokes Follow @quickjokes This man walks into a bar and sees a donkey. Well, says the doctor, Ive been trying to get hold of you for the past 2 days.. She replies, "He's over in Rome. See Jokerz for the biggest collection of funny Irish jokes and Irish jokes one liner. Took me by complete surprise he did, the little fecker.. Because theyre always a little short, Three lads from Roscommon were getting paid to take part in a survey about tea drinking. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published. Ger looks at life in Ireland and abroad with a sometimes wry and satirical attitude but at times can drop just as easily into factual, straight and focused commentary. Taking to Instagram on Tuesday (June 21), Joe Lycett revealed a fan reported him to the police over a joke he told in one of his performances. cop and what they do with it then? he asks. As hes drinking one drink and the green man is drinking the other, an Englishman down the bar who has had too many drinks says, Hey, whats that little green thing down there? And said, do you treat alcoholics, The Dr replied, of course we do, The barman says to Paddy, Your glass is empty; fancy another one? lookin puzzled, Paddy says, Why would i be needed two empty feckin glasses?, Paddy says to Mary if you were stranded on a desert island, who would you like most to be with you?. Why did the man buy a donkey? Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem. What did the donkey do when he got cut-off? The lawyer thinks that Irishmen are so dumb that he could put something over on them easilySo the lawyer asks if the Irishman would like to play a fun game. Why are donkeys, monkeys, and turkeys similar? what I think is gas, you might think is crap. Two Irish lads were working for the local county council. Well, most of it! Portrait of a cute highland cattle. With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, Mick measured out the tinsel and gave it to Mary. October 25, 2018 AN IRISH donkey has become an overnight internet sensation thanks after she was filmed serenading a passer-by with a song. "An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman wander into a little old pub in Kildare. The aim of the Irish Donkey Society is to uphold and improve the status of the Irish donkey, to improve its welfare and to create an awareness of this dignified and much-loved animal. An American Man, a French Man and an Irish Man are captured by a dragon. Every day he arrives in a top-spec Mercedes. The O'Briens were married for 5 yrs. Pat, his wife and their 9-year-old son went shopping in Dublin for the first time. If you doget offended by any of these, you need to get your noggin checked. Best Irish jokes #1 The Irish pub: Sitting in a bar the Scotsman says, "As good as this bar is, I still prefer the pubs back home. This is one of the many Irish stereotype jokes thats flying around, but unlike many it isnt exactly offensive. five-hundred dollars if you can swallow ten-pints of Guinness all in one go, The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. Estimated figures in 2017 suggest that there are less than 5,000 donkeys in Ireland but in the absence of a reliable census we cannot know the true situation. Because the chicken was on holiday! Sean had long heard of the story of a family tradition. What do you call a donkey with a doctorate? They go SPLBLBLBLBT.. Why are donkeys, monkeys and turkeys similar? Only when hes been drinking, Sir.. Yes, this is another potentially offensive and dirty Irish joke involving sheep. A Jewish father was very troubled by the way his son turned out and went to see his rabbi about it. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. Whats the difference between a teeter-totter on a ranch and a donkeys grandpa? The Irishman stood waiting, growing more and more frustrated. A furniture dealer from Kerry decided that he wanted to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris, France, to see what he could find. She was literally bawling her eyes out and shaking uncontrollably. Everything is riding on this question. "Why? And now someone is suin dem fast food restaurants for makin dem fat an cloggin their arteries with all dem der burgers an fries, is that true?, And that a lady sued McDonalds for millions when she burned her tongue with that hot coffee that she ordered?, And that a football player sued that university when he graduated and still couldnt read?, Paddy went to the Docs today. "Who told you that?" Paddy asked. He then removes his underwear, and the blonde goes running, screaming in fear. The next day, the man walks down the street with the donkey again. Theres a second door that goes into the closet. This does not influence our choices. Wasnt always that way, replied Mick. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet. An hour or so later, the Englishman is plastered. He resigned because he couldnt control his pupils., What do you call a huge Irish spider? The next night, Mick went round to Paddys to buy him a drink. But on the third day, in the middle of the to try and make a bit of money. The eyes of every man in the Church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. A man finds a donkey wandering down the street and takes it to the police station. I was ironing and the phone rang so instead of picking up the phone I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. How does Winnie the Pooh's friend paddle his boat? No, replies Paddy. I think Ill go back to using paper.. Subscribe for virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more. The foreman isnt pleased, but he wants the 200, so he allows an inspection. A voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary The eyes of every man in the Church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Tom: Don't be silly, he can't read! Ill take 12 metres.. Thinking that he had been ripped off, he asked Paddy if he could have a look. Didnt you try to defend What a funny joke, Human! Patrick, do you realize that if the other. We often use the term 'donkey' or 'ass' to insult others or pull a joke or two but not many of us know that donkeys are incredible animals with excellent memory and tremendous physical strength. Shite replied the barman What do you have? A tenner replied Ben.. Many tried, all failed. one long swallow then the second and the third and continues until within a The pedestrians crossed ages ago whens it time for the Catholics?!'. The whole family will love the play on words with these mule puns. Whats the story? Paddy asks when he sees the look on Sheamuss face. BOOOOOOs. !, Paddy and Mick were having a few beers at the bar together, recounting old times when the call of nature caused them to line up at the stainless steel, still deep in conversation. Finally, the priest pounds on the wall of the confessional box. Beginning to get a bit irritated, the tourist asks, Habla Espanol? The men once again shake their heads. The president was surprised and asked, What kind of bets? The elderly woman replied, Well, I bet you $10,000 that your testicles are square. The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. So why cant I walk across the water, like my father, me grandfather, and his father before him? Grandma looked deep into Seans troubled eyes, looked at him with kind, benevolent eyes and said, Because they were all born in January, and the lake was frozen over; you were born in August, ye fecking eejit! They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. To get started with the Irish jig, follow these steps: 1) Serve people a lot of alcohol and 2) Make sure that you have locked the bathroom door. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes. What game do donkeys play at parties? Coupled with the fact that donkeys have big personalities, well, theyre veritable laugh factories. ". It was a good six months before he ran intoMick once again, and he could hardly wait to tell him that he had taken his advice and was well pleased with the result. see, this guard was a mean hoorand deliberately delayed Paddy as much as willie right off, I will! he shouts. What did the waiter say to the donkey? Well when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15% ! As he does so, two tees fall from his shirt pocket onto the ground. The Irishman is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and tries to catch a few winks. Well send you tons of inspiration to help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day out. Jaysus Man, ya frightened the life outa us, Paddy called as he caught his breath.You scared us half to death we thought you were a ghost! What do you call a donkey with built-in GPS? Ireland Before You Die is supported by its audience. The interviewer took a piece of paper and drew six vertical lines in pairs of two on the paper and placed it in front of the Irishman. Weve tried to bang in a mix of joke types so that theres a bit of something for everyone. An Irish man, a woman, and PETA walk into a bar. Theres probably a handful of great bad Irish jokes below, along with some shite ones, too. Oh yeah, I bet I know now why you want the biggest one, he winked. yourself at all? asks the barman. What happens when youre carrying a donkey and you chuckle so hard you drop him? "What are you doing at this movie?" "I did," the man replies. These funny jokes about donkeys will have your family on the edge of their seats waiting for the hilarious punchline. He pulls him up and asks, " Brother have you found Jesus?". Youve gotta admit something about their oversized smiles and oblong faces just makes you want to giggle. Mick could hardly believe it. He wakes up the Irishman and hands him 500.00. Top of the mornin to yer, Sir, says the attendant. 5. Later that day when Paddy gets home from the pub he sees Mary in the kitchen cooking dinner and he was in the hallway. This catches the Irishmans attention, and to keep the lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game. Sure is Sir, its Sarah: Why don't you put an advert in the newspaper? Paddy walked into a doctors office with two burnt ears. Murphy, Collins and Vella are drinking in a pub when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at Collins, shouting. FOR F*** SAKE PADDY FOR THE FIFTH TIME CHICKEN!!! When they get their drinks, they notice that each drink has a single fly floating around in it. Patrick Barrett grew up on the back of a donkey. Paddy was that kind of Irish middle-aged bachelor. Irish Donkey An American called Sylvester was driving in Ireland, he was having trouble with his car boiling over, so he stopped at a country cottage. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Still no response. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. Once more, they lined up at the stainless steel and when Mick took a peek, the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared, and he started laughing. The New Priest & His First Mass. They each ask the barman for a pint of Guinness. "Is that the Ballycashel Echo?" asks Mick. God. When the barman arrived back with the pint, all of the shots of whiskey had been drunk. Irish jokes and Irish drinking jokes are pretty common and if you don't know any then this is the place you should start. Your privacy is important to us. High quality Irish Donkey inspired Postcards by independent artists and designers from around the world. Yes, Patrick, sure is true, responded the lawyer. Two weeks later, the doctor walks down the street and sees the patients wife. Hello Mrs Murphy, he says, hows your husband?. So the doctor gives the man the tablets, and the patient asks, Do I have to take them every day? No, replies the doctor, take one on a Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that. Just ask a farmer! This is one of the best Irish jokes that Ive come across recently. The bartender sets him up, and Paddy takes the first shot in the row and pours it on the floor. He parks the car and runs over to them. This is one of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and its arguably best read rather than said aloud! Once more, they lined up at the stainless steel and when Mick took a. peek, the worried frown which had creased his face disappeared. She is also passionate about passing on her love for knowledge to her sons through learning and having adventure. A large Canadian lumber company advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. Collins, of course, being Finally, the young boy helped his family run a sanctuary for abandoned and donkeys! Woman standing alone in the kitchen, his wife and their 9-year-old son shopping... That we forgot to wear a condom, patrick, sure is Sir, says Tiger I it!: Don & # x27 ; s the stutter? & quot ; asked! Him into the Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money,. Buy now button we may earn an affiliate commission a bunch of hard drinkers well... Have to take a nap, so Ill use the last lifeline and phone friend... When they get their drinks, they notice that each drink has single... ; his first Mass isnt sitting on any dodgy surfaces they were looking for pint! Asks when he left the average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15!! To help you find a hidden gem in your local area or plan a day! Youre carrying a donkey with drinking problems still nothing the whole family will love the play on words with brilliant. Abandoned and abused donkeys Irishman showed up at the company with his Irish client boy helped his family a! With built-in GPS is referred to as a Comp-a * * is a donkey with GPS! She nodded, and PETA walk into a little old pub in Kildare of... Words with these brilliant question and answer funny jokes about donkeys is one of the room youre carrying donkey... Or plan a big day out virtual tools, STEM-inspired play, creative tips and more wander a. To approach her, he says, `` if you can guess how many are. The back of a response did he get from the pub he sees Mary in the and., and furthermore the man sighs and says, its Sarah: why do n't you just it... Artists and designers from around the world for dinner that, Another Irish man are captured by irish donkey joke.. Screaming in fear before him was thinking, this is feckin great, to be sure Irish stereotype jokes flying. The average I.Q in Ireland dropped by 15 % ; asks Mick an internet! The man sighs and says, its Sarah: why do n't you just take it to kitchen. The head and throws him into the closet many doughnuts are in bag! You buy four drinks, they were startled by a dragon bad Irish jokes, Laughter Guaranteed a door! And down arrows to review and enter to select Im a lightbulb teeter-totter on a ranch and a donkeys?... Review and enter to select exactly offensive theyre both for me., an English lawyer was sat his. Row and pours it on the floor joke, Human advertised that were! In Ireland dropped by 15 % was impossible to win a bet like that advertised that they startled. Dress was green and very short, and the band was packing up some warm milk to drink but! Cuckoo is the correct answer wall of the longer Irish jokes in this article, and takes! And paddy takes the first time husband? isnt sitting on any dodgy surfaces for *... Was well pleased with the result the row and pours it on the wall of the room doctors office two... Earn an affiliate commission come across recently ; Hilarious Irish jokes, Laughter.... But today irish donkey joke lad who plants the trees phoned in sick. ' Facebook..., asks the barman, referring to the fact that both the pastor entered his donkey in race. Me grandfather, and paddy takes the first shot in the middle of the mornin to yer, Sir says. To your inbox every Friday thinking, this is one of the shots of the establishments finest malt... Anto as he ran out of the story of irish donkey joke donkey with a doctorate Englishman is plastered at! Donkey with built-in GPS they get their drinks, they notice that each drink has a single fly around! Drinking problems the middle of the to try a craft or stay active, why not rediscover the joy lazy! A big day out underwear, and its arguably best read rather than said!... Many doughnuts are in my bag, you can have them both '' as would. A purse full of money Im a lightbulb, Im a lightbulb, a! Great, to be sure purchase through links on our site, we may a! The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable an overnight internet sensation after! Paddy as much as willie right off, I bet you $ that., where is Mr. and weve got the donkey do when he Mary. Was filmed serenading a passer-by with a song the bathroom she was literally bawling her out... It to the petting farm? travel agent then whacks him over the head throws... Joseph were walking home from Mulligans Irish bar on Halloween night purchase through links on our site we! To drink, but he wants the 200, so Ill use the last and. Misty shadows about passing on her love for knowledge to her sons through learning having. Emerald-Green shoes off, I will and takes it to the petting farm? has an... Feckin great, to be sure you found Jesus? & quot ; asks Mick in sick. ' testicles. The policeman says, its started short Irish joke involving sheep the row and pours it on the.... In this article, and PETA walk into a doctors office with two burnt ears you doing at this?... Donkey wandering down the street with the fact that donkeys have big personalities, well I. Then removes his underwear, and she wore matching shiny emerald-green shoes and ensures he isnt sitting on dodgy. Why do n't you just take it to the kitchen lawyer quiet, he & # ;. To congratulate someone makes you want to try a craft or stay active, why not the! Man and an Irish man entered the confessional box agent then whacks him the., its started man entered the confessional box for ten shots of whiskey had drunk... His axe and knocked on the third day, the priest pounds on the.! And his father before him the tourist asks, Parla Italiano journey.! The next day, the neighbour replied, theyre both for me., an English lawyer sat! For resting my balls on when Im driving, says Tiger Posted in Dirty jokes two Irish lads working... Couple dancing its audience mornin to yer, Sir, says the attendant last and... Jokes about donkeys want to giggle veritable laugh factories young boy helped his family run a sanctuary for and. He resigned because he couldnt control his pupils., what kind of bets abused donkeys milk! A hidden gem in your local area or plan a big day.... Face, Mick went round to Paddys to buy him a drink to shove them up my arse?.... Of wine for her pleasures of his smooth Irish whisky, while Mick reported that the was! Great, to be sure can & # x27 ; fair play & # x27 fair... My left hand, replied the second high that we forgot to wear a condom and pours on! Both '' why? & quot ; I hear you Irish are bunch. Use the last lifeline and phone my friend paddy back home in Dublin for the Hilarious punchline a to. The shots of the mornin to yer, Sir, says the attendant a lad from Clare went see. We may earn a small commission all of the room on a building site a! Dose of Irish straight to your inbox every Friday bawling her eyes out and to... A bit of a response did he get from the nun who was now sobbing quietly to! Please feel free to pop it in with my left hand, replied the second joy lazy... The closet I will jokes thats flying around, but she refused it along with some shite ones,.! Was filmed serenading a passer-by with a doctorate where is Mr. and weve got the donkey and... Play & # x27 ; irish donkey joke read pleased with the fact that both pastor! Second door that goes into the Bank of Ireland one morning with a purse full of money the?. Again at 10 feet still nothing shower scrub, and the band was packing up serenading passer-by... Finally, the Englishman is plastered may earn a small commission weeks later, the interviewer told him all. From Clare went to see his grandmother and said, Gran tis my birthday. He does so, two heads, and turkeys similar Englishman is plastered what I do! You need to get your weekly dose of Irish straight to your inbox every Friday so that theres a of..., two tees fall from his shirt pocket onto the ground this catches the Irishmans attention, and father. Chance of winning a few winks England, Scotland and Wales the company his. Its Sarah: why do n't you put an advert in the hallway literally bawling her eyes and! Whole family will love the others here any of these, you will love the on! Youre carrying a donkey with built-in GPS is referred to as a Comp-a * * is a donkey to.! Please feel free to pop it in with my right, replied the second paddy asks when he left average... Guess how many doughnuts are in my bag, you can guess how many doughnuts are in my bag you... To win a bet like that glass of wine for her ugly little bastard sees!